moving … Sunday, 12 February 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rif raf.3 comments
again … i know … i know … but, i can’t help it …
it’s kinda boring here … i dunno … i like some of the features here, but … blah … you know? so … time for a change …
so … its off to livejournal … its kind kewl there … and of course … i am now a ‘die-hard’ deviant … and i have a fully-functional journal there … so, eventually i won’t really need this place or any of the blogger blogs … i will just have the livejournal and deviantART spaces …
come visit me … see ya around …
oh, yeah … the new handle is ‘madmalvablue’ … just for something different …
what can i say …? Thursday, 9 February 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rif raf.add a comment
… not much to say …
not much in the mood for writing, of late …
find me here … feeling kinda artistic of late …
i’ll be back in a few days …
tootles for now …
pyschotic rage Wednesday, 8 February 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rif raf.1 comment so far
that pretty much describes the world …
p-tosh with reality … it really does bore me …
i have not been deligent with my blogging duties because if my newest addiction: deviantART … posted part 3 of mona lisa man on my story blog over the wken … and a few new poems on the poetry blog … oh, the photo blog gets updated daily (except i think i missed yesterday …) well … that’s it … 4 now
when does it start being hate … Sunday, 5 February 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in rants, rif raf.7 comments
… literature … and stop being ‘free speech’ …? i’m really wondering … and … who decides … ? think about it … when something depicts the jews in a negative light, what do we call that …? anti-semitism … what would we call it if some very bold editorial cartoon portrayed the pope or some catholic figure as a sexual predator, or something? offensive? (not to me … because i think those horny old priests are predators … lol … but to others, believers, no doubt) … so why do we think it’s any different in this case?
forget for a moment the fact that the response of the world of ‘islam’ seems in keeping with the portrayal in the cartoons … (? they’re setting buildings and flags on fire, and threatening to kills people … come on, can someone say ‘moderation’ …?) … was it really necessary to print and re-print those cartoons …? did the world gain anything by this …? hmmmph … i don’t think so …
apparently, the world is 3 days behind me … Saturday, 4 February 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in rif raf.2 comments
i refer you to this post, which i wrote a couple days ago …
faeries and other things Friday, 3 February 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rif raf.27 comments
faeries keeping me busy of late …
… currently working on part 3 of mona lisa man, and a couple poems … i’m also having far too much fun playing with my new tripod …
re: templates: for those of you readers who are blogger users …
there are lots of places you can get templates – if you do a search in google, you’ll find them …
just keep in mind that in many cases you have no way of knowing if copyright law is being violated by use of images used to make the templates … if that matters to you, that is … if not, well …
…
if you visit templates by caz, you will find lots of templates containing images that have not been ‘ripped’ …
once you find the template you like and download it … then what?
then, you open the template’s *.txt file (you can do this in your browser – open a new window and then go to ‘open file’ in the ‘file’ menu), and cut and paste …
you erase all the template code in your blogger template window (be sure to save your links and other side-bar text) and then replace it with the new text from the new template you just downloaded …
then all that’s left for you to do is customize – put your links back in, etc … and … voila … a fancy new template …
…
hope this helps … it really is that easy …!
multiple blog personality … Wednesday, 1 February 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rif raf.11 comments
okay … i admit it … i’m an addict … a blog addict. in addition to maintaining this blog on a mostly daily basis, i have gone back to blogger, where i have 5 (yes 5!
) blogs. it all really started when i just started looking at all the blog templates there are out there in www-land. of course, i had to like several that i saw …
. and of course, that meant creating blogs so i could use the template …
so, here’s a list of my blogger blogs, along with a brief description:
- my photo blog – a different photo each day, some mine, some stock or creative commons photos
- my stories – my very own fiction
- my poetry – my poems, in one blog
- wurdz i collect – phrases, quotes, clever quips, the wurdz of others
- my diary – self explanatory
a word about the template changes … just wanted to tell you why i had to change those awesome templates – the forest girl and then the fairy. after setting up the blogs, i did a little research on the artist: enayla (real name: linda bergkvist) … i did find her website, and there she had a very detailed explanation of her ‘rulz of use’ for her art …
judging from her ‘rulz’ the templates i had downloaded from blogskins were created by pirating enayla’s work … i am big on intellectual property rights, etc. and so, i could not, in good conscience, use those blog templates, despite their beauty. so, now i have new templates, (templates that are not created by artwork ripped off from their artists!) and now you all know why …
lies, religious wars and cartoons Tuesday, 31 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in rants, rif raf.9 comments
okay … read this … ?? what do you think …? to tell you the truth, i’m not sure what to think … i mean, i’m sure most of us would not dispute the cartoon’s message … Islam seems quite a violent, fanatical world … they do like to blow things up, and they do grow up hating … there seems a culture of violence … BUT, that said … it does seem disrespectful to mock a religious figure … wondering what all the Christians would think if an editorial cartoon depicted Jesus in some kind of similarly disrespectful pose? hmmmmm ….
oh, dear …. the war rages on … war of religions … war of words … ideas … beliefs … ho hum … i see both sides of the story … watched Condaleeza tell the world about the big bad Hamas government … gawd please spare me, dearie … does she HONESTLY think that she or any other western politicians are going to accomplish what has not been accomplished in thousands of years ….
that piece of land i like to think of as palestine will remain the source of wars, terrorism, etc for generations to come … ALL THREE SIDES ARE AT FAULT HERE … (the USA being the third side … can’t seem to stop sticking their noses where it doesn’t belong …ackkk) … how can Condaleeza sit up their telling the world they will not recognize a gov’t that supports terrorism? what a fucking double standard bull shit that is! they are certainly the running for such a distinction -gov’t that supports terror … and that wall … apparently no one was listening when reagan said about the berlin wall ‘tear down this wall …’ … so it’s okay for the livelihoods of palestinians to be destroyed for some fucking jewish bullshit wall? uh fuck … this is exactly why i choose NOT to watch the news … unfortunately today it was inflicted upon me …grrrr …
well. got that out. we all know we’re not gonna solve anything … but there. its said. now – violence … yes … this is not an insult … Islam is a very violent culture … when my husband lived in africa (his dad worked for the UN and was stationed there) he and his (swiss) parents lived in a flat above an arab family … one evening they heard some absolutely horrific screaming … the most awful sounds … coming from that flat … the next day when ‘dad’ asked about these noises … this is what the neighbour told him …”the rabbit only started screaming when i stepped on his head to slit his throat!’ … and, folks, that is a true story, and the said thing is … the guy who stepped on the rabbit’s head thought this was terribily funny … obviously the swiss family did not!
that story conjures up an image in my head … and that is the image i have when i hear hamas and their declarations of killing, destruction and war … i really wonder where this leaves the mideast process … nowhere … at an impass … with one side wanting a two-country solution (the side that doesn’t live in the mideast, of course), and two other sides wanting a one-country solution …
i’m really hoping that one day soon cooler heads will prevail and someone will stop and ask, ‘wait …why did those people elect a hamas government? what message does that send us?’ but … i’m not holding my breath …
Technorati Tags: rants, mideast, palestine, usa, hamas, islam
to all drivers … Sunday, 29 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rants.7 comments
. . . who insist on driving their vehicles everywhere, despite the fact they have no driving skills whatsoever . . .
here are a few things u should know:
1. at an intersection, the stopping point is not only before the intersection, but also BEFORE the pedestrian crosswalk, not in the middle of or after the crosswalk – us pedestrians r not 2 keen on walking behind your car and sucking in all those nice exhaust fumes!!!
2. vehicles are equipped with signal lights because we are ALL supposed to be using them to signal lane changes and turns – ALL the time, not just when the fancy strikes us!!
3. the passing lane is just that, a lane for passing . . . it is not a lane u plant yourself in if you are driving all the way to timbucktou – for heavens sake, keep your sorry piece of motorized metal to the right, so others can pass if they want 2!!
4. if u can’t follow these guidelines, then for heaven’s sake take the bus or support your local cabbie . . .STAY OFF THE ROAD!!!
another kewl blog thingy … Saturday, 28 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rif raf.3 comments
it said about me …
“You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.
For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.”
… that’s pretty accurate …
Technorati Tags: personality-test, blogging, cool-things
10 of my favourite blogging resources … Saturday, 28 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, rif raf.2 comments
- technorati – a great indexing website technorati
- flickr – for on-line photo storage and sharing flickr
- deviantArt – an on-line community of artists … some greast stock photos deviantArt
- blogskins and templates for blogger, moveable type, xanga are here … and they’re free! blogskins
- templates for blogger templates by Caz
- a must-have button for your bookmark bar that allows you to creative technorati tags with just the click of a button – no more annoying code! oddiophile’s technorati tagging bookmarklet
- creative commons – a nonprofit organization that offers flexible copyright licenses for creative works creative commons
- free wordpress blog – very powerful interface, but not much flexibility in customizing your template wordpress
- free blogger blog – missing some features that wordpress has, but the best for customization of templates … blogger
- a free, photo hosting website photobucket
Technorati Tags: blogging-resources, lists, cool
is there anybody out there …? Friday, 27 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in rants, rif raf.6 comments
wow … i am watching stats for this blog just crash into the floor –
apparently that blog village i spoke of here has become a ghost town … hmmmm … oh well … whatever … i don’t write for an audience anyway … just for myself … but … if there’s anybody out there … lurking … HEY! … speak up!
Technorati Tags: blogging, traffic, ghost-town, village, lurkers
the ring Thursday, 26 January 2006
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do you have someone ’standing in your corner’ … someone that encourages you … who wants you … with all his heart … to get up from those despairing and discouraging falls in life? i do … and having this person in my corner … it makes this journey of life sweeter to savour …
You thank me all the time
but now it’s my turn
cause truly a word of gratitude so due
can’t go unheard
and it made me feel better
to have you there in my corner
my eyes cast so low
my face could not have been
drawn longer
I know you’ve been impressed
you’ve seen me at my best
but oh, how it hurts
when I can’t hide my worst
well thank-you for carrying on
for playing with me and this song
it made me feel better
we sat it out like some passing bad weather
My mind was like kid’s boxing gloves
the kind blown up with air
that are put away after play
and get limp just lying there
but you knew they’d fill up again
and you gave me your shoulder
and I got up in the ring
because I had you there
in my corner
and I got up in the ring
because I had you there In my corner
lyrics written by sarah harmer
Technorati Tags: sarah-harmer, folk-music, ring, life, thanx
instructions for life Wednesday, 25 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in rif raf.2 comments
i received the following, entitled ‘instructions for life,’ via email from a friend … these are words of wisdom from the dalai lama himself …
- take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk
- when you lose, don’t lose the lesson
- follow the three r’s: respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions
- remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
- learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
- don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship
- when you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
- spend some time alone every day
- open arms to change, but don’t let go of your values
- remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
- live a good, honourable life then, when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a scond time
- a loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life
- in disagreement with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. don’t bring up the past
- share your knowledge. its a way to achieve immortality
- be gentle with the earth
- once a year go someplace you’ve never been before
Technorati Tags: dalai-lama, life, wisdom, instructions
so … are we winning the ‘war on terror’ …?? Tuesday, 24 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in rants, rif raf.24 comments
“insurgents kill children militants step up iraq attacks” (AP)
“US officer guilty of iraqi death”(BBC)
“President Bush has said his goal is to end tyranny in the world” (BBC)
“Iraqi security officials have discovered the bodies of 23 police volunteers kidnapped last Monday”(BBC)
Technorati Tags: war-on-terror, middle-east, dubya, headlines
alzheimer demon Sunday, 22 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, mental illness, nursing, poetry.20 comments
memory, mind, dignity
devoured by this demon …
alzheimer’s … who siphons souls,
a trail of empty shells strewn in its wake
who settles on faces it possesses
like a shadow crosses a wall of clear gleaming light
traces of wisdom, regret, and sometimes love
erased from creases time has pressed into
friable skin,
replaced with
fear … suspicion … hostility
or … worse …
replaced with nothingness
a sweet flowing spring
has run dry
Technorati Tags: alzheimer’s, family, sad, dementia,
perceptual inferno Friday, 20 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in mental illness, poetry.14 comments
teeming
crystalline voices resonate
perceptual inferno
white noise in gray matter
my own psychic static
shrieking … skulking … shadows
i, hunter … i, hunted
caustic clatter digests my psyche
neuron by neuron
axon by axon
dendrite by dendrite
Technorati Tags: pysche, poetry, static, perceptual
paralyzing motion Thursday, 19 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in poetry.add a comment
restlessness paralyzes me
a torrent of thoughts, feelings, desires
gush thru my neural pathways
engulfing my consciousness – then
settling … suffocating …
like mental cling-film
the winds of change
stirring … profoundly …
galvanizing … i am
a thought and feeling salad -
so many ingredient
thoughts and feelings tossed together,
their flavours fused into on another . . .
paralyzing motion
clap your hands say yeah … Thursday, 19 January 2006
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when i walked into hmv this afternoon, this song played on the overhead speakers … i really walked into the store kind of restless … undecided … wanting … a different taste … i even had confessions on a dance floor in my hands … and then … i put it back on the shelf … what a cool ripple in my time-space to come across such neat, fun, funky music …
Technorati Tags: music, alternative, funky, choice
ritual of addiction Wednesday, 18 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in junky, rif raf.8 comments
assume, for a moment, an atheist perspective … just for the purposes of reading this piece …
do you ever wonder why the evolutionists and scientists don’t burn with desire to ‘convert’ the ‘non-believers’ …. ? i mean, they don’t believe that Moses parted the Red Sea … that some omnipotent entity sits up in heaven, playing his little chess game, with US as the game pieces, mind-fucking us … like … mind-fuck after mind-fuck …? they do have access to the mounds and mounds of scientific evidence (science=’makes sense’) in favour of evolution, the big-bang theory … so …
mind-boggling, isn’t it? how thousands and thousands of people AROUND the world just don’t see the science written on the proverbial wall, huh? well, you certainly think this of you’re among the science-thinking type, i guess … but not if you exist under the ‘god’ delusion … yet, those who see the ‘truth and the light’ (science=truth … and where there’s truth there’s light) do not seek to convert the less enlightened creationists … go figure …
well … it’s not really THAT mind-boggling, when you consider that one cannot ever hope to ‘convert’ a creationist, given the strong ritualistic facet of religions … a belief wrapped in rituals … beliefs … they don’t need to make sense, do they? rituals … we cling to our rituals … seek solace in them, shelter in them, peace in them, envelope ourselves in them … to the point of fanatacism and even self-harm/death (think: suicide bombers, pilgrims to mecca). that’s religion, folks … and the religious types exist inside the walls their rituals have erected …
beliefs … rituals … self-harm … hmmmmm …. doesn’t …. that …. sound …. like …. like … addiction? yes …. yes … i think so …. it does, doesn’t it? so … all these people out there kling to religion … god – because it’s their DRUG of CHOICE. That’s right … religion as a drug.
so … think about the ridiculous ‘war on drugs’ … do you think that preaching to ‘convert’ disfunctional/deviant drugs addicts based on science and common sense will really have the effect of getting addicts to give up their DRUG of CHOICE? of course not … drug use, it’s couched in ritual … belief … maybe even superstition … remember, rituals comfort, shelter, soothe … we need rituals to exist in our daily lives …
so … i wonder … why is addiction to some things in life okay … but not others …. who gets to decide what’s okay and what’s not ….? and when will the DEA-minded folks realize the war on drugs has the same effect on existence as does the intifada?
Technorati Tags: addiction, religion, drug, policy, war, ritual
birth in reverse Wednesday, 18 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in mental illness, nursing, poetry.7 comments
death …
a birth in reverse …
spiritual … breath-taking
watching …
waiting …
feeling death’s grip tighen
loved ones crumble in grief
… i …
caregiver
… emotionally unaffected …
by the loss of this soul …
ponder the enigma of death -
death … a mask
that settles upon the corpse …
devoid of animation … sallow hue
magnetic souls Wednesday, 18 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in poetry.5 comments
powerful … intense … connected …
i feel i’ve known you an eternity …
like a stone makes a ripple
when it touches the water,
your soul … it has made a ripple
in my eternity … my timespace …
my soul … bound to yours …
… magnetic … energy … fuses with
energy … recognizes … perceives …
beyond consciousness -
could this be -
energy drawn to self?
molecules … have found molecules
they’ve intimately known …
part of self … lover … child …
from a past life?
Technorati Tags: metaphysical, spiritual, souls, love, poetry
cerebral burn … Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, poetry.3 comments
the flames of anger
crackle and spit deep inside me
my spirit searing
my psyche, sizzling
i can feel the millions upon millions of synapses
stinging … burning …
rage … the cerebral burn …
a 4th degree burn …
… rage, a fire that consumes all in its path …
leaving a charred, scarred trail of ash
a hollow shell … no substance … no life …
death … rage …
immortalized
by the damage they leave behind
hole in my soul … Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, poetry.add a comment
drained…
hollow…
longing…
yearning…
lonely…
alone…
disconnected…
cut off…
infinite sadness.
my heart and lungs expand, contract, tho’ i do not feel alive.
the heaviness of sorrow…
a grief tamponade…
this feeling will never go away.
deception…
lies…
control…
manipulatation.
i don’t know why i’m crying.
can’t stop …
can’t start.
why do some people deplete energy?
why does death rape and pillage.
why …?
plucked away Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, poetry.1 comment so far
searing …soul crushing …relentless pain
smothering me
the fruit of my mothering …
plucked away from me …
but … why …
and reduced to a large plastic bag
he came to collect your belongings today
the man walked out with everything … you …
casually, like a bag of garbage
the door closes behind the man with the bag
leaving me imprisoned in my sorrow
an image of you, etched in my heart
elfin child – soft ivory skin, long chestnut lashes
intoxicating squeals of laughter
each day that passes
without you
the deeper and more palpable my loss becomes
my respirates
i do not feel alive
seagull Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, nature, poetry.add a comment
wulf … act two Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, poetry.add a comment
setting fire to paint thinner in the basement
i got a spanking for that one
setting fire to my big brother’s pants
stealing from the neighbourhood cellars
when we blew the food budget at the disco
sending my parents blank ‘letters’
on correspondence day
in exchange for my weekly allowance at boring school,
also known as boarding school
i wonder why mom and dad never said anything
going for joyrides with my brother when he stole mom’s car
the cops didn’t believe i took the car …
especially considering my feet didn’t reach the pedals
seeing the expression on mom’s face
when she saw the large water bong
crudely set into the gaping hole
i punched out of her favourite teak coffee table
Technorati Tags: poetry, childhood, autobiographical
wulf … act one Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, poetry.add a comment
mom and dad collected things
stuff mostly … money …
trips to exotic destinations
us children
you see, my parents didn’t actually realize
that children actually serve a purpose
beyond making their parents feel good
about adding to the collection
we attended boarding school
so that mom could keep track
of where dad put his dick
i feel like i raised myself sometimes
i watched a man blow his nose with a ten dollar bill in Dakar, Senegal
i drank powdered milk with dugout water in Libya
a hash dealer raped me in Israel
i got shot at, walking to school in Algiers
i wonder how many times mom watered the marijuana plant
i kept on the balcony of her Lausanne apartment
Technorati Tags: poetry, childhood, autobiographical
voices Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in mental illness, poetry.add a comment
hey broadcast using medium-length waves over the radio. they communicate with each other this way. yeah, they think i heaven’t figured them out. they must think that i don’t listen to the radio. oh shit, the voices. they’re singing Kumbaya again. hands over my ears, looking around the room, wild-eyed, for my headphones.
i can’t tell the difference between what my head says and what goes on around me. psycho, i’m fucking psycho again. my ears, they’re ringing with all the sounds of all those loud voices. running. shit. i gotta run. those people in the shadows, they’re trying to stabe me in the head.
‘ . . .drive a broom through your skull … rip out your entrails …” voices! no! those thoughts come from the voices. running. hands over ears. bent over. dodging them. running from them. slamming into walls. bouncing off the bright white walls. gnawing my fingers, exposing raw and putrid flesh and bone. raging. numbing. nothing.
panacea. syringe, loaded. who’s panacea? mine? not sure … i should run. but i have run enough. relief? demise?
wild-eyed dream Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in junky, poetry.add a comment
I felt the needle enter my vein
Morpheus raced down the track
My track, obliterating my track
Morpheus swallowed me, whole
The purple crocus sneered at me,
poking its head through the damp, cold earth
Grass blades, the colour of freshly vomited bile,
snickering – muffled munckin chortles and giggles
Eery sway of tree
branches crackling like decrepit floor boards
Mournful, haunting faces in gnarled, knotted trunks
Smoke plume – a twisting corkscrew of smoke engulfs me
Her face appeared – old, sunken, dark
She opened her grotesque mouth:
a votex, nothing else
The whispered crackle of rotting flesh,
the sweet sickly pungent odour of dying meat
maggots, teaming maggots
Loud glint – blinding
Vision ebbs to shadows
A shrieking siren
Red light, blue light
The wild-eyed dream, ended
clarity Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in poetry.7 comments
in the stillness of the hour before dawn,
hangs tentatively in the air
like a plump dewdrop about to fall to the ground
no wind … no voices … silence …
no roaring gasoline-powered engines …
just the sound of us -
6 feet crunching snow with each step
silence … stillness …
clarity lives in these moments
i breath it in
i want to feel clarity
all the way
to the very depths of my lungs
it fills me and envelopes me all at once
clarity -
of my thoughts, desires, feelings
i am … i feel … it’s clear …
in this moment, its clear
… and …
i want to savour it
Technorati Tags: spiritual, self-realization, poetry
hungry inferno Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in nature, poetry.add a comment
orange sheaths of fire
crackle spit dance flicker
sailing the forest
clear sheets of heat shimmy
cloaked in thin ribbons of white smoke
woodland bowels, scarred and scorched
felled tree limbs, charred
strewn in an ashen sea
majestic green canopy swallowed
by hungry inferno
the prey Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in melancholy, poetry.add a comment
your rank breath tasted of sour milk
car grease embedded in your fingernails
black soot pressed in the creases of your hands
fear, your sweet opium
sos – i seek refuge
who will rescue me from
you, a restless sexual vulture -
a vortex that hungers insatiably
fear anger shame hang thickly
an impenetrable fog
lotus flower Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in erotica, poetry.add a comment
lotus flower, plump
pink petals, delicately
I encircle you
night stalker Saturday, 14 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in nature, poetry.add a comment
spiral staircase Saturday, 14 January 2006
Posted by cerebralgraffitti in fun, poetry.add a comment